...

We’re his pet

Nothing could be change about that

Though we might seem close, our relationship isn’t more than a pet and her master

If only she could accept this...

But she can’t, I know

Cause I know how much she love us both; herself and I

She knew it hurt, it hurt deep down

To him smile with others, saying that they are special

But he said we are special, and that makes lots of us special

Making it unworthy and nonsense

But I could not stop, I couldn’t turn around

Facing the truth isn’t what I can do best, and she realize that

I realize she often switch our position so suddenly, taking control until the end of the corridor before giving it to me

I know, cause I peek

And I know what she didn’t want me to see

For once or twice, I am serious of my own life

I almost cry, to be honest I was near breakdown

But in front of her who had worked so much, how could I cry?

I’m being too selfish; her protecting me is more than enough

She kept smiling, always smiling, though I know she hold back the her impatient fist and grinded her teeth

Knowing that was sad, in fact I was touched

And I know I must accept the reality, though it cost my life to see it

He stepped back slowly

He thought we didn’t notice, but we did

She tried to cover it up for me, but I’m not that careless as well

I see, I notice his behaviour, different than before

He is leaving, or at least preparing on leaving

All the sudden goodbyes when we chat, all the simple touches that suddenly gone

A part of her, I can read, had the same feeling as I do

He has a new pet

A new pet that could easily be guessed

As I realized her stare to the new pet; dark and cold

Something inside me yelled, I need to be prepared

I’m scared, I’m dumbfounded

To be honest I was taken aback to death

We get pass through all this once, and I know she didn’t want us to go down the same road again

I must move on, but I can’t

And seeing her working so much hurt

We’re tired, we’re both tired

All energy left is just enough to stay awake

We’re sick, very sick

We threw up several times a day, we starve endlessly

Though I know she love eating, she endure the pain for me

For me to be acceptable, for me to be with him

But he’s just too perfect to reach

She’s exhausted, of the fake smile I couldn’t show, for the painful laugh I couldn’t present

She said I’m innocent, and I play a lot

I show different expressions, the childishness of a kid

Barely serious is me, I just simply wanted to be loved

But I am me and she is she

We’re different, all too different in many ways

She’s my poker face, the only cold beauty in me

I love her and she love me, and we both love him

Only in different aspects, because she will never love him as much as I do

Should I keep doing this?

Am I so selfish?